It is evident that my paternal grandfather-in-law, Orange Arthur Shelton, whom I never had the privilege of knowing personally, was right concerning at least one matter: “You can’t have everything.” While this may seem obvious on the surface, it appears to be quite difficult to comprehend.
I am in practice as a Life coach and Biblical counselor and have heard astounding things in my office. For instance, I have heard a man complain that his wife is not sexy enough to suit him, after he has willingly given her several children and can not afford for her to have the occasional new dress or to take her out to dinner. I have listened to a wife who has no need to work outside the home, complain that her hard-working husband is not home enough, that he doesn’t relate well to their child or spend enough time with him, and in the same breath admit that she could never let go of her brand new car or manage without her weekly manicure. I have been told by another that he can not tolerate his wife’s career success but would not stand for his wife not helping to pay the bills. One man said that his wife should be home with the children while insisting that she hold a regular job. A woman complained to me that she wanted to be healthy while stuffing down a third candy bar for lunch and reminding me of her reasons for not getting any physical exercise. I’ve listened to addicts describe their great desire to abandon their drug of choice and in the next breath state clearly the reason they have no intention of letting it go. I’ve paid close attention as liars have told me they are aware of the problematic issues resulting from their chronic dishonesty and strongly want to change, and heard them lie to me with their next sentence.
As it turns out, life is all about choices. Granted, some are more easily recognized than others, for example: If I want to be a concert pianist, the manicures mentioned previously will not be an issue as my nails must remain clipped short; therefore I can be a concert pianist with nails clipped short or I can forgo such endeavor and keep my nails long. Other alternatives are not as readily apparent. We must live a little longer, dig a little deeper to unearth the truth. As with this profundity: One may not be a person of conviction and at the same time enjoy a conflict-free existence. There is this to ponder: We can not feel love without feeling loss. If we feel one we are guaranteed to feel the other at some point- if not on multiple occasions. In other words, we may live a life without love or choose love and accept the loss that accompanies it.
Straight up to his death, my father-in-law maintained the opinion that one can not expect to have both sanity and many children. I decline comment. The point is that one thing nearly always edges out another. We would do well to remember the truth in these wise words: You can’t have everything.
Copyright 2018. L.L. Shelton.
