Category Archives: Current Events

Please- Just the Facts

After a careful  perusing of everything I am able to access surrounding the evil house of horrors belonging to the Turpin family, I thought I’d let you all in on what I might have come to know about them.  After all, another one’s view of a thing often offers a helpful perspective, and please feel free to respond in kind as I haven’t yet made up my mind concerning these things.

First off- David and Louise Turpin are being accused of “human depravity.” According to God’s Word we are all charged with this at conception.  I guess maybe they just never managed to outgrow theirs.

Sometimes these deranged parents placed either apple or pumpkin pie on the counter and instructed the children not to eat it.  And then- God forbid- they ate it in front of the kids later! Of course, if you have thirteen of them and seven of them are a bunch of free-loading adults, it’s likely that would be the only way you’d ever get any pie!

One child evidently had a friend who was allowed in their house to play and remembers reading material concerning a possible Armageddon being strewn around the floor, but concerned citizens will be grateful to learn that so far no “girlie” magazines (or other such paraphernalia) have been found.

This family made regular excursions to Disneyland in the nice fifteen passenger van (parked in front of their home in each and every picture of the residence we have been shown), but these kids are so lacking in basic skills that one did not know what a police officer was! I would imagine the kid knew Sheriff Woody though- and he would have been glad to explain things to the little chap.

In light of everything, the Turpin’s seventeen year old was evidently the most disgruntled with her parents because she ran away from home.

The children were often seen wearing clean and neat matching clothing- of course the fashion may be considered a bit childish to some, but have you ever tried shopping for young ladies, today? If extreme modesty is a requirement, you may find it difficult to locate much ready-made. Sometimes the children were spotted in similar colors and blending styles of casual wear (as evident from photographs of the family when on a resort vacation). Possibly they found it difficult to keep up with all the branches of their family tree without a bit of coding.

Interestingly, David and Louise appear to have a tremendous fondness for the love songs of Elvis Presley.

David had a fairly decent job. He was an engineer for Northrop Grumman. Of course, no one knows how THEY managed to become so prominent. Obviously they hire stupid people. They seem to have lost a whole satellite that cost like a jillion dollars.

It may be true that from his salary of eleven thousand dollars a month, the couple had only managed to save 80,000 dollars. But then, I have half the children they do and I find it difficult to save fifty cents.

Sadly, the children are reported to have severe cognitive impairments and damage to their central nervous systems due to lack of nourishment. This has left me scratching my head as my children are obviously well-fed and a couple have occasionally been a bit on the pudgy side, and still they sometimes say or do something that manages to have me near convinced they have lost their minds.

The Turpin family appears to like having animals around, as well as children- and often times it’s a difficult thing to separate the two as many seem to come into the world with a genuine affinity for one another. And I speak from a place of authority as I was born under this very spell and so were more than fifty percent of my off-spring.

Some say the two dogs formerly residing in the Turpin home appeared to be beautifully cared for while the people were not so fortunate. This brings to mind that the kindest folks on our planet don’t always have the most common sense- they often value their pets more highly than they do themselves, and will do without to protect and provide for them.

Now, while we don’t particularly like Vienna sausages, as this family does,  I have come in from errands and found cans that once contained the things we do like, sitting around the kitchen when there stood a welcoming trash can not more than six feet away! This is one of those aforementioned things that has caused me to question the intellectual abilities of my own brood.

I was glad to know that neither David nor Louise had been convicted of any serious criminal activity before. Of course, that leaves me to wonder if that law-breaking they engaged in when they were just kidding would be anything to worry over…

It does appear that they did not enroll any additional students in their private home day school… Seems no one else was actively seeking their specific brand of education, in spite of the fact that one of the older boys was allowed to attend college classes off-campus, suggesting that he was able to get in! I’m willing to wager that some of you reading this now, know of a kid or two from one fine family or another that either didn’t have the smarts to get in to an institution of higher learning, or got in and then couldn’t make a go of it. However our capable authorities have agreed to spend more of our tax dollars in an effort to be sure they have the “no extras” fact straight.

Soon enough, I’m guessing we’ll all know the truth since authorities have confiscated hundreds of highly descriptive journals the children wrote themselves! My gracious! As awful as their parents were it seems these children are amazingly capable writers, and this reminds me that it’s difficult to be such unless you have first read a few good books. When they get free, I sure hope they’ll teach the rest of us how to cultivate such skills in children who, as a result of being severely deprived and possibly tortured for as many as twenty years, have damage to their brains.

And last but not least, having had plenty of experience with infants myself, I can’t imagine why, out of thirteen children, they would elect to keep only that howling baby well-fed.

Copyright 2018. L.L. Shelton.

Further Reflections On Charlottesville

Due to the outcome of our Civil War, the preservation of our nation, we are each subject to a greater society- that of The United States of America, and the government of such has grown to include ideological territory far beyond the original intent of “protection and defense against all enemies foreign and domestic.”

We are each subject to a larger community of feeling, thought, and behavior- in short, subject to one another, and therefore affected by one another, and feeling some degree of ownership of one another’s corporate possessions and territories. We can not flee the inconveniences of the union and yet embrace its benefits. The advantages and disadvantages of the union are part and parcel.

The statue belongs first to Charlottesville and then to Albemarie county (where sits the University of Virginia, the campus having been designed by likely the states most famous resident, multi-slave owner, Thomas Jefferson), next it belongs to Virginia, and then to the United States of America; and the ripple effect of decisions concerning said statue will be felt in varying degree from sea to shining sea. This should be no surprise. An absolute division of one citizen from another is logistically impossible.

And may I respectfully submit to you that this would be the case no matter the outcome of our own civil war? The truth of our interrelatedness by virtue of our existence has been screaming in the heads of humanity’s empaths throughout the ages. Many of these are our poets, our priests, our philosophers and our theologians, our artists of various type and persuasion.

Many empaths are themselves writer’s and there have been those others fascinated by the empath’s words and expressions who have labored to preserve them. Their work is overflowing with the passionate plea to recognize our genuine connectedness and our inability to escape it, and the need to therefore bend with it when all but sin will allow, as in honoring and respecting one another we honor and respect ourselves.

Now it appears that some felt that my earlier remarks on this subject indicated a callous disregard for the feelings of those who are opposed to the statue’s position in the town park, maybe even to those injured during the eruption of evil occurring there on Saturday. I assure you, nothing could be further from the truth. It should go without saying that hate and violence are not only mean, but are a recipe for disaster as to mistreat and despise one’s fellow human is as detrimental to one as is wounding and abhorring oneself.  I am most of all opposed to such things.

I simply hope to encourage our depth of thought surrounding our activities- a search for patterns and predictable precedents that we may make the best use of our resources, and in conclusion, ask that we thoroughly consider, as we can not completely separate from one another nor from our collective past, in this case as well as in every situation like it, what may best serve all.

Copyright 2017. L.L. Shelton.

Reflecting On Charlottesville

Please do not insist that we remove every reminder of our struggle to be who we ought. Leave us traces of our wrong-doing in the form of art. Let some things stand to help us to recollect who we do not want to be and wish we never had been. These are fine artifacts as they exist to teach; to show us a history we hope never to repeat.

Perhaps in our desire to do away with every unpleasant memory we may do ourselves and our posterity great harm. What if the Bible is truth and its explanation of wickedness beginning in us, originating in human beings of each and every color is accurate? What then if there is nothing to bring this truth to mind? Would we not be destined to replicate many difficult and painful lessons should be already learned?

Let us think carefully before rendering our past free of hard things. For memory is not restricted to the past; it exists also to inform the future, and to ignore this aspect of memory, to relegate this valuable tool of the mind to a place of obscurity is a fool’s game.

Rather, let us stare appalled. Let us gaze aghast at these moments in our corporate story and at similar happenings in our individual stories, and let us fall to our knees and beg God to help us to come to healthy terms with the knowledge, and with ourselves, that these hideous and contemptuous events may never again occur.

Copyright 2017. L.L. Shelton.

CNN and Other Stupidity

Tonight, as I rapidly walk the treadmill at our local Planet Fitness, I spy a headline from CNN (The self-proclaimed, Central News Network). The headline reads:  Church-goers Saved From the Tornado By the Grace of God.  (Did I fall asleep and wake up in the days of the new Constantine?)

I avoid the news at home because it tends to invigorate me to an unacceptable point.  Also, I am intentionally considerate of my younger children, who I am with nearly always, not wishing to subject them to a constant barrage of suggestions for how they should think about the current events.  I avoid channels allowing commercials for similar reasons.

But I don’t suppose it my right to suggest these same strategies to Planet Fitness to aid their fully adult, and hopefully engaged and thoughtful  patrons.

Now to the original intent of this post- exactly how is it that CNN knows the mind of God so very well? Did He drop in for a quick visit with Ted Turner and explain Himself?

Dear Families and Friends of the eight who were killed due to the storm, please know that Our Bible states plainly that God rains on the just and the unjust and that His thoughts are higher than our thoughts, His ways higher than our ways… please know that He is for every man, though He does specifically bless His saved children with eternal life and many other things.  Many choose to be an enemy of God, but God is the enemy of no man.

In truth, we have no idea why God spared those He spared and took those He took. So what? He is God and we are not.

Please accept the sympathy of this Jesus-loving, church-goer over your loss, and may God be with you to comfort and help you in your tremendous grief.

Copyright 2017.   L.L. Shelton.