Category Archives: Holistic Health

Life, Loss, And Human Connection


We all experience loss in varying degrees throughout our lives.  Sometimes we lose a person.  Sometimes it is someone of remarkable significance to our lives.  Sometimes we lose our idea of a person.  Sometimes we lose someone while they are still living.  Sometimes we lose a person before they have a chance to be born.  Sometimes death suddenly snatches someone from our grasp.

Sometimes we lose something.  Something truly meaningful to us- a job, a relationship, a marriage, a family, a home.  We may lose our faith in ourselves or our confidence in others.  We may lose our affection for someone.  Someone may lose fondness for us.  Sometimes we lose our possessions, our good health, an opportunity, or a skill.  Sometimes we grieve the loss of another’s good opinion, a phase of life, or a particular situation.  We may lose our dignity to abuse.  Sometimes, in the wake of trauma, a piece of our history is lost to us.  In reaction to grief, we may lose a part of ourselves.

No matter.  Loss is loss.  And in some form, each and every loss affects us.  Our losses affect us at differing levels, on any given day, for as long as we live.  This is true whether or not we can identify the trouble or admit to it.

Sometimes the pain surrounding our loss is evident to all.  It’s conspicuous and loud- maybe even obnoxious.  Sometimes our grief is quiet and obvious to few.  Sometimes we suffer in silence.  Other times we let it all hang out.  But we all suffer.  No one makes this journey without experiencing loss- without grief, nor without the change that loss entails.

We are in this life together- inextricably intertwined- if only in our minds, our memories.  Our journey’s are our own; and yet we pass one another, we bump into one another, converge at various points along the road.  We’re often gathered at intersections or stopped together in traffic.  Sometimes we are involved in the parade and other times we’re held up by it.  Sometimes we are forced to view an accident.  Sometimes we find ourselves in the middle of the wreck.  We may realize we instigated a pile-up.  We can accept the truth of our relatedness or not.  We can like it or not, we can cooperate with healing or not, but nothing can alter the fact of our wondrous interconnectedness.

The best that we can do is to be patient with one another and ourselves, and to be kind.  We can be committed to honesty, to listening, and to being present.  We can own our mistakes- time and again if necessary.  We can seek forgiveness and we can be forgiving.  We can offer grace- allowing new opportunities for growth.  In Christ, we can practice genuine humility and real compassion.  In Him, we can love in the truest sense.

Copyright 2024.   L.L. Shelton.

RESIST OR FLEE


I always taught my children to remember their three things:

  1. Keep your eyes on Jesus.
  2. Obey your authorities- IN THE LORD.
  3. Use good manners.

I taught them who Jesus was and who Jesus is.  I taught them the definition of authority and that some authority is good and of GOD and that some is evil; as every good thing fell in the beginning and can now be perverted.  I told them to follow authority ONLY when authority did not ask them to sin or to go against THE GOD of THE BIBLE.  I taught them that though manners and customs can be very specific as pertaining to different societies, ultimately manners are a way of behaving that does not offend another, and that good manners are defined in the Golden rule.  The Golden rule reminds us to do to others only that we would in our reasonable mind do or want done to ourselves.

In this present world, It is becoming increasingly difficult to know when the authority is in opposition to GOD and to HIS good.  Yet, as always, we must be able to recognize sin, and sin is anything that is displeasing to GOD, and to resist sin or flee from it.  I ask now that my children and all people pray for discernment- BEG for wisdom- and resist any authority in opposition to the good that is GOD.
https://patentimages.storage.googleapis.com/68/80/73/6a17a66e9ec8c5/US11107588.pdf

Copyright 2021.    L.L. Shelton.

A Letter To My Daughters

My Precious Daughters,

Understand that as a Follower of Jesus your life is not your own, rather it belongs to Him, to your First Love.  In the garden, Eve took her eyes off her First Love for an instant and was mesmerized by evil.  Darkness personified suggested that she could be not only her own head, needing the leadership of herself alone, but that she could manage the responsibilities of God! She fell for the ploy and the fall has been lengthy and beyond challenging.  May I suggest that you begin your journey in Christ by determining to forsake marriage and remain single for the love of Christ alone, or by determining to marry a man who loves Jesus Christ?

Waiting for a boy to grow into a man may be long and difficult.  Waiting for a man to learn the unselfishness of God will take a life time.  Waiting for a young man to become a Christian may be an altogether fruitless endeavor.  The simplest method for ensuring that you are less likely to be joined to an Unbeliever is to set a standard for your romantic life.  For example:  I will not date at all, or I will date only those young men who profess Christ.

I’m sure the decision to remain single in Jesus and for the sake of the gospel, has its own very great rewards, and there are those faithful to this decision and lifestyle who may be of aid to you, should you take this path.  However, I am familiar with the sacrement of marriage.  Marriage is the most beautiful illustration of sacrifice and joy because when done with pure intention; it imitates the sacrifice of God in Christ.  It is a picture of our relationship to Christ, highlighting the sacrifice He made, loving us while we were unlovable, and the blessing and joy He received and receives continually in an everlasting flow as a result.  Christ sits at God’s right hand enjoying Him forever!

Your children, should you receive the blessing of children, will be most greatly affected by your choices in the area of who you consider a contender for the prize of your heart.  They will benefit and suffer in large part due to the relationship you choose to form in marriage.  These effects will come about as a natural consequence of the design intended by the Creator.  You may attempt to use the system in a way that is inconsistent with its design but in return you will miss the consistent blessing of the  fruit of obedience.  Life is difficult in a fallen world, without the intended blessing it can be unbearable, not for you only but also for your children and grandchildren and their children.

Christian devotion and concern for family requires diligence and sacrifice beyond our merely human strength and regularly employs the Holy Spirit of God in Christ; as we ourselves are occasionally difficult to love, so our husbands and our children, and all within our sphere of influence will be.  And yet it is our mandate to love each one well.  And if you are able to love each one well, according to God’s definition of love;  not perfectly, but well, you will meet with God’s idea of success.

Still, the success you achieve within your own family will not necessarily follow in the world outside your family circle and the circle of the true church.  The organized church will be a place of like-minded Believers and fellows in the faith for the most part, but even here you will find some imposters.  There will be some within its walls who serve darkness.  The world will certainly not be without flaw.  And the world will challenge all, including those who have grown up under your leadership, and should you marry, under the leadership of your devoted husband as well.  Only each one’s personal relationship with Christ will keep him or her safe from evil.  We live within a system marred by sin and hatred for what is right and true.  Humans are broken and can only be fixed by God in Christ Jesus.

But in the midst of all, you can find rest knowing that keeping your own eyes on Jesus, you faithfully honored and served your God, and that you led by loving example and tender heart toward those you touched, and that while imperfect, you were an example of His servant leadership to those within your sphere of influence, ever hopeful that each one would receive Jesus Christ as his or her personal Lord and Savior.  It is the best that any woman can do.

I love you ever and always,

Mother

A Reckoning

Precariously perched,

Bright new wings unfurled,

Her wretched screaming slowed,

Still at her past Is hurled;

And round the fragile stem of life

Her feeble feet are curled,

“I cannot save you from yourself,

   I recognize the plea;

  For many years I heard the cry

  Yet I could not save me.

  Now here I stand with heart in hand,

  The child is finally free.”

Light blinds her temporarily,

She’s startled by the noise;

Walking slowly to the edge

Though in her pain is poised,

To take to flight across the sky,

Embracing future joys.

Copyright  2020.     L.L.  Shelton.

How Well Are We Adulting?

Adults educate themselves.

Adults seek and consider counsel.

Adults adopt their own values.

Adults make decisions.

Adults embrace responsibility for their decisions.

Adults are honest with themselves and others.

Adults accept the blame that is due them.

Adults graciously pardon weakness in others.

Adults are respectful and considerate of others.

Adults are motivated by the joy of service.

Adults cheerfully give more than they take.

Adults engage in conflict.

Adults engage in conflict resolution.

Adults demand little and freely negotiate.

Adults remember the past and learn from it.

Adults plan for the future and rest in it.

Adults  live in the present and enjoy it.

How well are you adulting, today?

Copyright 2020.     L.L. Shelton.

Have A Happy Healthy Day!

DO YOU USE ESSENTIAL OILS MEDICINALLY?

Responsible use of essential oils includes:

1. An awareness of their medicinal properties and value.

2. A great deal of research and education.

3. The willingness to track and report all use to your primary care physician.

4. The willingness to schedule a visit with your primary care doctor when your use of oils is not reducing your symptoms in a timely manner.

This post is in the interest of your good health!

Learn how to use essential oils appropriately for common ailments. It’s the natural choice.

I have researched several labels. This is a list of quality brand essential oils- in order from most expensive down to least costly- all effective for common ailments, but more oil is needed of the three less expensive brands to accomplish the same results achieved with lesser amounts of Young Living oils.

I do not sell YL as I practice a healing profession and consider there to be the possibility of a conflict of interest, but honestly the longer I study and use the oils, the greater is my preference for the YL oils. (My second preference is NOW.)

1. Young Living Oils
2. Native American Nutritionals
3. Healing Solutions Oils
4. NOW Food Oils

DO YOU USE ESSENTIAL OILS MEDICINALLY?

Responsible use of essential oils includes:

1. An awareness of their medicinal properties and value.

2. A great deal of research and education.

3. The willingness to track and report all use to your primary care physician.

4. The willingness to schedule a visit with your primary care doctor when your use of oils is not reducing your symptoms in a timely manner.

Have a healthy, happy day!

2015, L.L. Shelton

Are You Spiritually Naked?

As it becomes more complicated on a daily basis to monitor the input of the world into our own minds, as well as our children’s, I am comforted by the recollection of a sermon I heard Dr. Adrian Rogers preach a few years before his death.  He reminded us that moral impurity comes not from what is going into us but from what is coming out, as Jesus said.  (See Matthew 15:11, Mark 7:15)

Dr. Rogers explained with tremendous articulation that if we are who we should be on the inside, spiritually, we can experience anything and our reaction will be a Christ-like response.  He gave the example of seeing the public nudity of a beautiful woman and mused that Jesus would seek clothes for the poor unfortunate soul and would Himself cover the person, and would then likely pray over that one, and possibly attempt to convert that fellow human being to The Faith, all of this rather than lusting after the poverty-stricken creature; reasoning that though endowed with physical beauty, she was indeed spiritually poor and naked.  (See  Revelation 3:17)

I have come to the conclusion that we should place our emphasis on what is right rather than on what is wrong.  This is the way to become who we should be on the inside.  It is the way to a pure heart.  Certainly, we should be aware of and we should help others to notice what is wrong, and we should be initiators of change as well, but our emphasis, our priority should be to know and to focus on what is right.  The good should be given preeminence in our hearts and minds.  We should be learning and teaching what is excellent and praiseworthy.  We should always be wearing our clothing, our spiritual armor.  If this were more often the case, there may be less wrong to confront and to manage.  (See Ephesians 6:10-10, Philippians 4:8)

Copyright 2018. L.L. Shelton.

To Tell The Truth

Suspect yourself or someone else of dishonesty if there is a need to retell something again and again and again- in other words there is a genuine yet strange emphasis on the event.  I refer not to the continual resurfacing of the happening and referencing of it, but to the continual need to repeat the story itself,  usually to the same people as often as to someone who may have never heard it.

Of course, there are those who may repeat a scenario over and over and over in their own heads, but are able, by way of temperament or different affectation, to restrain from a consistent public retelling or reworking of the event.  In this case one still should suspect and examine himself or herself for dishonesty, and if necessary seek assistance.  Interestingly, it appears that those given to public display of their stories are often perseverating both publicly and in private.

Traumatic memory is often caught in a feedback loop.  The need to continually, even obsessively, remember the event is rooted in the fact that it was never fully processed, and certainly not in a healthy manner.  The happening remains unresolved in the person’s psyche.  The dishonesty arises as, in the attempt to process the authentic structure of a circumstance, particularly a disconcerting event, the memory is altered to make it into something easier to bear.  This may be intentional but sometimes takes place at the level of the subconscious.  Therefore the author of the memory is not always aware of the restructuring and certainly is not fully aware of why and how the memory was changed.

I believe that the supposed need for the dishonesty occurs at the level of a person”s heart motive.  I work with my clients as a person of faith and understanding, attempting to draw those motives out into the Light (Proverbs 20:5).  For instance, a victim of trauma may have been harmed by someone closely related to her and will attempt to alter the memory to “see” someone else as the perpetrator, or he may “reason” that he was behaving in an inappropriate manner inviting the perpetrator to commit a crime against  him.  Perhaps the victim is one of secondary trauma, having observed a violent happening and failed to intervene.  Occasionally, I encounter someone who has dismissed a large portion or portions of his or her life due to some type of chronic traumatic situation.  These changes soften the impact of the memory for the one who has been victimized,  allowing the victim to maintain some ability to function in the face of tragedy.

On the other hand, a perpetrator of violence, and it should be noted that the perpetrator has sometimes first been a victim, may attempt to rewrite a memory because he or she cannot bear to think the self is capable of the horrendous act. This can arise due to the conscience being severely wounded but not quite dead, or due to the presence of a personality disorder which suggests to the person that they may not be, and indeed in the person’s mind are not, less than perfect.  However, the desired result is the same- a lessening of the severity of both the internal and the external impact of the behavior.  From either the victim’s or the perpetrator’s position there is a convoluted reward for the dishonesty.  The problem arises due to the twisted nature of the prize.  (To avoid confusion, it should be noted here that genuine lack of empathy, as in the case of true character disturbance, has no need to reconstruct memory for the other’s sake. )

My clients are often surprised to find the genuine culprit of the nearly incomprehensible past that has lead to a painful present and a bleakly viewed future, is the person himself or herself.  However, once the revelation has occurred, the path to healing, while requiring a cautious engagement due to the fact that a person’s mental composition can be fragile, is generally swift.

Nevertheless, there are some who have engaged in habits of dishonesty for so long and even willfully, they are unlikely to heal this side of heaven, and some will not reach heaven.  They are those who refuse to acknowledge the possibility and certainly will not acquiesce to the probability that the author of the confusion is the self.  These persons are regularly sent for professional psychological or psychiatric evaluation and are often eventually diagnosed with a personality disorder, or as character disturbed.   At times,  they are found to be psychopathic.

Genuine honesty is a rare strength.  One of noble character, who can find? (Proverbs 31:10)  The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked, who can know it? (Jeremiah 17:9-10)     Truth is sometimes as difficult to locate as is the perfect gem, but it is without fail, worth a great deal more.  Ultimately, it is the truth that liberates  us (John 8:32-38).  “Heal me, LORD, and I will be healed, save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise,”  Jeremiah 17:14.

Copyright 2018. L.L. Shelton.

Sensational Sexuality Diet

Steps To A Truly Satisfying Sexuality

Stop! Proceed with caution. This list has the potential to alter your life and is intended for married and soon-to-be-married eyes only. Not intended for minor use. Parental supervision suggested. You are on the honor system. You must not continue reading unless you fully intend to read through the last word and to the end. Please thoughtfully consider the terms. If you agree to the terms of use, you may proceed.

Steps to your satisfaction:

  1.  Binge! Throw out that one year Bible reading plan and read ahead to the next chapter. Ask God to join you through His Holy Spirit as you feast on The Word! Enjoy every morsel, each small bite so full of flavor and nutrition, created especially for your dining pleasure. Reconnect with the exciting authentic history, thrilling true tales of prophets and kings, the beautiful poetry, and miraculous moments of discovery and deliverance. Relate anew to the genuine Gospel and the establishment of the Christian church. Eat and drink until you begin to feel hopeful and content with your God.
  2. Purge! Now clean out that ridiculous clutter you’ve been stumbling over for so long. Is there a secret stash of soft porn somewhere? Do you only need to touch a screen to access it? Is there a Victoria’s Secret across the street from where you work? Is that Frederick’s or Chippendale’s catalogue someone brought in laying around somewhere? Are there steamy romance novels- you know the kind- filled with men human husbands could never manage to be, men who are perfect beyond measure, infallible heroes to the end? Are there lewd books, magazines  filled with pictures and stories of strange women- you know the type- perfectly built women with fabulous faces who beg to serve and to participate in aberrant sexual practice and couldn’t care less for a wedding ring? Is there legitimate pornography available to you and used by you, once in a while or regularly? Trash it! Toss it with the understanding that God abhors it. Ask your abba (your daddy) to give you the grace, strength, and courage to resist it. Ask Him to give you a new perspective (a new heart) toward those who are involved in creating these images to incite lust. Pity them. Pray for them as if they were your own people caught in a horrible self-destructive lifestyle. They are, after all, your human brothers and sisters.
  3. Starve yourself! Allow your thoughts of sexual satisfaction to rest on your spouse and only on your spouse throughout your waking hours. Ask God to continue the vigil as you sleep. Ask God to remind you that honest fulfillment in any arena is only possible when you are more concerned with giving than with getting. Recognize when your thoughts threaten to turn selfishly lustful toward your spouse, to linger lustfully on another or to turn sexual toward another, and refuse to stay; immediately command your mind in the name and power of Christ to turn back toward your spouse and toward your God. At this moment, God will remind you of some Truth in His Word regarding Himself. He is attempting to replace the potentially unwholesome thought with thought of Himself. Cooperate! Acknowledge the thought, embrace it and repeat it, again and again until you feel cleansed.  The more you listen to God, the louder He gets!
  4. Start over! When you fail, do not give up. Seek and ask for forgiveness, from God and from your spouse.  Use your will power given to you by The Holy Spirit, and in His strength, begin again. Together, with your abba, put one foot in front of the other, and proceed through these steps.

This diet is guaranteed to radically alter your life! Your sexual urges are designed by God not only to ensure procreation, but to drive you away from yourself and toward your spouse to aid in the development of a particular level of intimacy with God, as well as with your spouse, unique to marriage.  By implementing this plan you will find your own sexuality transformed! If your spouse is committed as well, your joy in one another will be rich.  It will not happen overnight, as with any diet, this one must be participated in fully and committed to as a lifestyle to result in lasting success.

Finally, we make authentic love because we are under the influence of the genuine love of God, and are inspired  to the giving of ourselves and receiving of another in a beautiful way because of it.  Anything less is ordinary loveless sex.

Disclaimer: Some participants will need to focus on God as someone other than “daddy,” as their earthly daddy (or mama) wittingly lead them toward or directly contributed to their sexually retarded development. I urge those to remember that God is a perfect father and cares tenderly for his creation as a good mother cares for her young. Though you may have no immediate earthly example of a Godly parent available, you may find it helpful to imagine such a leader through literary ideal, including biblical, and film illustrations, and to know that God (according to His Word) joins you in your grief.

Copyright 2016. L.L. Shelton.